Random Camping has it's moments :)

So this last weekend Greg came home from hunting early. The next day we got up and he informed me that we were going out for the day but to grab some pj's and extra g's "just in case". I have since learned that that is Greg's new way of getting what he wants. He tells me " Well I'm not sure about this or that it MIGHT happen" and then magically it always does :) So I go grab my stuff and we leave. We start driving and discussing where we want to go and so on.

 We end up somewhere by Kanosh (which oddly enough made me think of Ganache) We drove through that canyon. It was pretty and different to look at. We soon came upon a rattle snake.

After seeing no where to really camp and also I wanted to put some space between me and fangs pictured above so we kept on driving. We ended up driving up the Kimberly which leads down into Maryvale. Can I say breathtaking?? Holy Crap! The leaves up there were so beautiful!

We drove and drove and drove and did I mention we drove? Till we finally came upon a spot to pitch camp. We started unloading everything and Greg started chopping wood for a fire. Get this he actually USED a present I got him for christmas :) jk he is pretty good about it most of the time ! Artie was he wood chopping companion, where ever Greg went she was right behind him.

When she got bored of that and of me swatting her behind because she kept getting into the ashes she just plopped down next to me and Brutus.

After that Greg, Artie and I went on a big ride. Didn't see anything to shoot but it sure was pretty up there!

When we got back to camp We made dinner and then Artie was ready for bed. She went into the tent curled up into some blankets and was out like a light! The next day Greg and I went up the the Silver mine where I got some nice pics!

All in all it was a really fun trip! We listened to conference while driving through the mountains and we really were able to feel the spirit. It was nice to have some one on one time with Greg since I don't really see him anymore. Artie survived her first camping trip like a trooper! Hardly any complaining :)

A New Bundle of Fur !

Well Our new Furbaby is finally here! She is really quite a handful! Weighing in at 2.4 pounds she is Tiny! But don't let size fool you, what she lacks in size she makes up for it in volume :) Walk out of the room and within seconds you will here noises that you never heard before in decimals that could shatter an ear drum! She is very clingy and only happy if she can see me somewhere. While sometimes it would be nice for her to be ok with me leaving the room for a second, I secretly love it! While my heart seems to be taking a little longer to adjust than I thought it would take I am doing my best to go through the motions and hope that quickly my heart will stop being guarded and be able to open back up and enjoy this little girl all the way! Right now as I type she is curled up on the desk right in front of the keyboard, she has such a cute face and loveable antics at play time that could melt even the toughest hearts! I will add more as our days together grow longer and involve more than sleep,eat,bathroom,play,sleep,eat,bathroom,play etc. :)

Life is my favorite Drug of all :)

HAHA jk I've always wanted to say that but it sounds so friggin cheesy :)

As people say "Life must go on" and "you just gotta pick yourself back up and get going" and all those wonderful platitudes. While they may be true they seem a bit trite to me most days. But I guess I am trying to move on and get going with life again. I am working on the soon to be nursery, and by soon I mean anywhere between now and the next 5 years :). That has been nice. I got a really cute bedding set and a crib and a glider. Now I just need to save up some $$ so I can get a small book case and also the changing table.

Also I have been introduced to the wonderful world of Amish Friendship Bread :) Which might I add is the DEVIL! It is so yummy :) The only problem is I am going to end up as big as a house since the way it works you are making this yummy bread every 10 days....

On the adoption front things are going, thats about all I can say. I never here from our case worker so I don't know if things are good, bad or indifferent at this point in time. All I know is if I could bottle up my frustration and sell it we'd have a 100 babies by now ;)

I am also in the process of becoming a surrogate mom to a new little puppy. I'll be completly honest, I am scared outta my mind. And I also feel a little bit not guilty but an emotion similar to that. I really want to have a little heartbeat around the house to keep me company but at the same time I just don't feel l ike it should be anyone but Maggie. I don't know what to feel anymore. I guess I will jsut go into it with my heart open and not guarded and see what comes of it. I do know that if anything should happen to this little puppy like things have happended to our other dogs where they pass unexpectedly then I'm done. I  am keeping Brutus but no more dogs after that. I just don't think my heart could handle it.

But for now I will focus on the words of a little self help quote that always got me through rough times before.
Today is going to be a great day.
I choose to be happy.
Things don't get better by worrying about them.
I choose to be happy. :)

My Sweet Maggie

Well as most of you know Maggie passed away. I ended up taking her into a different vet for a second opinion. (I had taken her in to a different vet twice and they just kept telling me it was a bug. They did blood work and x rays but they showed nothing major) The minute I walked in they whisked her away and into the back. The doctor came and sat down with me and asked what was going on. I explained about going to the vet and so on and that she was current on all shots . (by the time we got there she was foaming at the mouth) He went back to work on her and came back out shortly and said that her temp was 106 degrees and her heart rate was over 200. He asked me again about rabies and I told him that she was good. So he went back to work on her and came back out a little while later and said that with her eyes being so abnormal and not responding to light or movement and with the high temp he was certain that she had brain damage and that she was probably not going to make it. I pretty much just broke down right there in the waiting area and the receptionist quickly found me a room.




The doc came into the room and said he would like to repeat blood work since her condition had gone down hill so fast from the day before. It came back as normal as the first set. He then started asking greg and I questions like had she got into poison/fruits/nuts/bones and so on. The only thing I could think of was a small cut she had got on her paw. I thought it was from a sticker that had gotten stuck in her paw but we never found it. The doc started wondering if it could be a black widow bite because she had 18 of the20 symptoms. He said he would like to transfer her to a crictal care unit that was in Salt Lake because they were the best so I said ok lets do it. He ended up calling the doc on call up there and talking to her and she said it sounded like tetanus. But that she would have everything ready and would be waiting for us.



So Greg and I hauled ass to the critical care place all the while I just sat there with her in my lap with the AC on her trying to keep her temp down. When we got there the doc looked at her and confirmed what she thought earlier . She said she wanted to keep her a couple of days and to get an IV in her along with the antitoxin and muscle relaxers. So we paid our deposit and went into the back to say good bye to her.



I cannot begin to describe the feeling I had. I had felt a small ray of hope but when I saw her in the kennel on her side with her little legs stretched out shaking and more foam coming outta her mouth it was all I could do to keep it together for her. But I bent down and loved on her and told her I loved her and that she needed to be a good girl and that I would see her tomorrow. Greg then bent down and did the same and she looked up at us with so much pain in her little eyes it just went right through me.



Leaving her there was the hardest thing. I just wanted to sit by her side and love on her and comfort her. I got a call about an hour after we got home but missed it because my phone had died, It was strange because as I was walking up the stairs to put it on the charger I had all but decided to call them and see how she was doing because I kept getting the overwhelming urge to call. When my phone turned back on I had a voicemail. I called my voicemail and it was the doc saying that her temp had spiked to 110 degrees and that she was going into cardiac arrest and she didn't think she was going to make it.



I called them back as quick as I could and they patched me through. After what seemed like forever the doc came on and said I'm so sorry but we lost her. Her temp just went up to high and they couldn't get it to come down and she through a blood clot and she just passed away. All I could think to say was What do I do now? You just told me that my baby has died what am I suppose to do now? She said we were more than welcome to come up there and get her for a private burial or that they could cremate her. I didn't know what to do it was so surreal so I asked if I could call back.



I got off the phone and looked at greg and just broke down. He was so upset, he had wanted her to pass with us not on a table. We both just sat there and cried and I fiinally told him what she had said and so we called them back and asked them to please cremate her and to get her little paw impression in clay as well. I then asked if she would be ok there until they came to pick her up and the nurse assured me she would be fine.



The vet just called me while I was typing this and said that she would be picked up today and asked what I wanted to be ingraved on her urn. It took me a minute because I shouldn't be doing this, she should be recovering. I shouldn't be planning to have my baby cremated. I finally told her what to put on there and she said that we could come pick her up in 3-5 days... I just feel so empty.

Crawfishing!!

Well I have been begging my family since we moved up here when I was 8 to go crawfishing. I LOVE to do it and they taste so yummy! Not to mention it's like comfort food since I grew up on it. So I finally convinced my family and we went up the day before the 4th to celebrate. It was really fun! It was so nice to just relax for 5 minutes! Here are some pics of our day!

I think that face says it all! He's got it bad, and that ain't good! :)

It was really funny, after everything was put on the table, my parents and I totally dig in. Greg grabs a potato and then some corn but I notice he will hardly touch the crawfish. So I ask him whats up and he says that he doesn't know how to eat them so I peel a couple for him and he ate like 2 of them but after that he just wouldn't even touch them. He is so funny my little/big chicken! So big and strong in some ways and such a girl in others! He'd shoot me if he knew I'd written that but as a good friend of mine likes to say "Often times the truth is devastating" :)

Happy Anniversary !!

    So Our 5 year anniversary is this friday.... 5 YEAR. I guess in the long run 5 years isn't that long but remember how when we were kids 5 years was an eternity? Well somedays it can feel that way still but for the most part I am enjoying my life with Greg. Yeah we butt heads but what married couple doesn't? When we do it never lasts very long and we usually end up laughing at each other because we're both acting stupid. I've been doing alot of thinking as this anniversary comes up in regards to our relationship and looking towards the future and I have to say I'm excited.
     I'm excited to be going through the adoption process, i'm excited to have a wonderful home that we get to work on and make our own, I'm also excited to be going back to school to get into family therapy which i know I'll love but most of all I'm excited to do it all with Greg by my side. He makes me feel like I can do anything and hopefully I do the same for him. This past five years has gone by so fast that I feel like if I blink 5 more will go flying by and I won't even know what happened!
    This year we are going to Vegas and staying in a nice hotel and hopefully if I can talk Greg into go see Phantom. I have been wanting to see it SO bad. My mom and I went to see it when we went to New york and it was Amazing. I am excited for a break and some much needed one on one time. I have to admit I'm looking forward to good food as well just because I can't help myself :) I will try to take as many pics as I can and update when we get home!

AWAKE :)

So I am sitting here and it is 3:30 in the morning and I wish more than anything I could sleep. My brain is so wound up that sleep seems impossible. I have SO much to do tomorrow and I think I just keep stressing about it. I know things will go like I want but if you know me at all I wig until things are over. THEN I can relax. I am talking of course about Melanie's 40th B-day bash, Tomorrow is my prep day and I guess I might as well go and get a head start. It's nice at this time of night maggie is curled up next to me dreaming of something far away. She keeps making a sucking sound, it's so cute. Greg is sleeping which is nice to know. He has to many sleepless nights, I worry about him so. And then there is me. The eternal night owl. I used to be before I got married ,  I've tried over the years to go to bed at a normal time but unless I'm sick or drugged I usually struggle to sleep. I guess I should go clean my kitchen or something. I would go hop on the treadmill to wear myself out but then greg would probably think there was an intruder and shoot me or something... so maybe I'll keep myself alive for a few more nights... :)  Well I think I have rambled long enough.

Um.... yeah

So I have made a personal promise to be better about updating this poor thing. I have fun things that go on everyday and I just let the memories slip on by. So sad :( Well not anymore! I have been a busy little bee. I have been making cakes (which I LOVE) and at the moment I am finishing up the last minute details for Melanies 40th birthday party!! She is gonna love it I just know it! Anyways I am going to be updating this baby alot more now! I can't wait!